Well the last game of 2008 will prove to be a huge test for the Pens. The Bruins are coming into town holding down the top spot in the East, playing a shut down system that could frustrate the Pens.
The Guins looked solid in their last game against the Habs, even though we came up short. The Pens outshot the Canadians and pretty much dominated all game, besides some homo getting his first career hat trick and single-handedly beating the pens. Sid got some shots on net and Mr. Dupuis proved yet again that he is the luckiest man in the world with an absolute fluke goal. I'm not complaining though, I just wish I had some of his luck.
Biznasty was sent back down to WBS. Big surprise. Are there any other 3rd or 4th line AHL guys we can bring up while Minard and Nanana continue to dominate??
If the Penguins continue to play their grinding system, the bruins will no doubt control tonights game and probably walk away with a 2-0 win. Hopefully this isn't the case and Mikey T gets his mind straight and makes a few changes. We need to open it up and get pucks on net... So this brigns us to..
Donnie's Keys to Victory
1) Now I don't wanna sound like a Steelers fan at a Pens game, but we have to get the puck on net. Do you see what happened when dupuis atleast put a shot in the direction of the net. Deflections happen. Generate some offense.
2) The 3rd and 4th lines need to produce. Lately I have begun to think that the only chance we have of scoring is when Geno is on the ice. It makes for frustrating hockey. Our 3rd lines has been in the biggest slump and it needs to stop.
3) MAF and the D to shut down a persistant Bruins attack. In Flower we trust.
4) Just win the game and end the new year right.
GO PENS
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
CANADIENS vs PENGUINS
The Guins welcome the Habs to the Igloo tonight for the two teams first meeting of the season. Puck drops at 7.
The Pens are hoping to rebound from some poor play last night in a close 1-0 game in which they won in New Jersey. For the Burgh's sake, hopefully Flower looks as dominant tonight as he looked last night. The way the Guins have been scoring, they will need all the help they can get.
For the sixth time this season Mikey T's squad will play on back-to-back nights. The Guins have yet to win both games in such situations this year. More importantly, the Pens have not won two games in a row since November 13 and 15 when they put up 5 goals againt Philthy and 5 against Buffalo.
Look for the Habs to try and prove their players deserve to start in the All-Star game over Sid, Geno and Flower. They don't but the fans in French-Canadia are a little slow. It's not their fault, they're just too busy speaking french, drinking Molson and putting maple syrup on their ham.
Donnie says it should be a good game. That's all he's got.
Mikey T's Lineup:
FORWARDS:
Dupuis-Crosby-Satan
Fedotenko-Malkin-Sykora
Talbot-Staal-Cooke
Bissonnette-Jeffrey-Godard
DEFENSE:
Orpik-Scuderi
Boucher-Goligoski
Whitney-Eaton
GOAL:
Fluery
PENS 1 - DEVILS 0
The Guins narrowly escaped their trip to TrashCity thanks solely to the Flower. MAF stopped all 37 shots he face from the Devils on Friday to secure his first shutout of the season. Flower made a handful of fantnastic saves, flopping around his crease and desperately diving from post to post.
The rest of the team looked less than stellar yet again. A team filled with star power was only able to muster 18 shots against NJ and scored just one goal against the inigma that is Scott Clemensen (please note the sarcasm...Scotty blows more than Tara Reid on dollar drink night).
FIRST PERIOD
Boring.
FIRST INTERMISSION: Pens 0 - Devils 0
SECOND PERIOD
Boring.
Tenk finally put the guins on the board when he took a pass from Geno and snapped a shot that barely made it through ScottyC.
As time was running out in the period though, the Devils had a chance to tie the game but IR was standing on the doorstep and helped Flower retain the shutout. A piece of trash tried stuffing a loose puck into the Guins net but IR kicked it out just before the ouck had a chance to completely cross the goal line. A split second later and the outcome of this game could have been disasterous.
SECOND INTERMISSION: Pens1 - Devils 0
THIRD PERIOD
Boring.
FINAL: Pens 1 - Devils 0
The rest of the team looked less than stellar yet again. A team filled with star power was only able to muster 18 shots against NJ and scored just one goal against the inigma that is Scott Clemensen (please note the sarcasm...Scotty blows more than Tara Reid on dollar drink night).
FIRST PERIOD
Boring.
FIRST INTERMISSION: Pens 0 - Devils 0
SECOND PERIOD
Boring.
Tenk finally put the guins on the board when he took a pass from Geno and snapped a shot that barely made it through ScottyC.
As time was running out in the period though, the Devils had a chance to tie the game but IR was standing on the doorstep and helped Flower retain the shutout. A piece of trash tried stuffing a loose puck into the Guins net but IR kicked it out just before the ouck had a chance to completely cross the goal line. A split second later and the outcome of this game could have been disasterous.
SECOND INTERMISSION: Pens1 - Devils 0
THIRD PERIOD
Boring.
FINAL: Pens 1 - Devils 0
Most Valuable Silverback
The Steez voted James Harrison as Master of the Universe and their team MVP on Wednesday, for the second season in a row.
Harrison is the first Siller to be given the honor in back-to-back seasons since Levon Kirkland did it in 1998 and 1999.
MVP has owned just about every offensive line and every quarterback of every game this year. He broke the Steez single season sack record when he recorded his 16th last weekend against the Tits. He also leads the league with seven forced fumbles and he also recorded 100 tackles for the first time in his career.
The Steez may not be the only ones giving Harrison an MVP. The linebacker is alsothe only defensive player in the NFL that has a legit shot at winning league MVP.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Sign Here & Pack Yo Bags
While the Pens are playing worse than a blind kid at dodge ball, the rest of the Burgh's pride and joy are making moves to try and better themselves...kind of.
MARVEL COMICS TO IR
Mikey T has sent big Marv Smith to the IR after back problems have kept the Steez' O-lineman out of the past 10 games.
Since Donnie didn't want to embarass the rest of BigBen's line by showing them how to block the Steez signed tackle Jason Capizzi from their practice squad.
THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY
THE GOOD: Buccos catcher Ryan Doumit inked a 5-year, 27 mil extension on Monday.
THE BAD: Pirate president Frank Coonelly (THE UGLY) said Doumit is most likely the last big off-season signing the club will make. NateDogg doesn't want to talk about a multi-year extension and PaulMahl's agent hasn't returned a call in weeks. However, the Buccos are talking with rightfielder Rocco Baldelli who spent last year with the Rays. He hasn't played over 100 games since 2004 and has hit 25 homeruns in the last three years combined...so look to see him in black-and-gold this season.
Prepare yourself for history, the Buccos are making it this year!
SO LONG LAFFY TAFFY & WALLACE
After a miserable performance and handing the TB Bolts just their eighth win of the year, Mikey T has sent LaffyTaffy and WilliamWallace back to WBS. Could this be the Christmas miracle we've been waiting for? Will Nanana finally get his chance to shice for the Guins? Tune in Friday when the Pens take on the Devils.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
PENS vs Tampon Bay
FIRST PERIOD
Pens came out firing on all cylinders with Sid and Geno on the same line, and Geno was just going crazy and looking sick. Malone quickly got jealous and tried being a piece of trash and got a penalty. Malkin also got a "2 minutes for being pushed by trash" penalty.
Shortly after, Jeff "Laffy Taffey" showed just how great he is. Whitney was in the Christmas spirit and gift wrapped one for laffey. It was as easy to bury as seagull shit in sand, but laffey decided to eat shit instead and spin in a worthless circle.
Pens came out firing on all cylinders with Sid and Geno on the same line, and Geno was just going crazy and looking sick. Malone quickly got jealous and tried being a piece of trash and got a penalty. Malkin also got a "2 minutes for being pushed by trash" penalty.
Shortly after, Jeff "Laffy Taffey" showed just how great he is. Whitney was in the Christmas spirit and gift wrapped one for laffey. It was as easy to bury as seagull shit in sand, but laffey decided to eat shit instead and spin in a worthless circle.
Also: my two favorite players received penalties in the first---Scuderi and Dupuis ( notice the sarcasm)......watching Scuderi skate is like having someone pull your toenails off with pliers while having your balls in a vice and shit shoved up your nose.
FIRST INTERMISSION: 0-0
SECOND PERIOD
The second period was super gay. The pens did nothing. Some gay named Pettingzoo scored a goal for Tampon Bay.
SECOND INTERMISSION: PENS 0 - TB 1
THIRD PERIOD
No recap needed here. They Gays scored another goal and the pens did nothing. Waste of 2.5 hours watching this garbage game........First time Pens have been shutout since January 18 against, who else, the Tampons........Merry X-mas............Suck it....
FINAL: PENS 0 - TB 2
FESTIVUS: The Holiday for the Rest of Us
Well boys and girls, it's December 23 and you all know what that means...It's FESTIVUS!
The holiday celebration will be held at Brothers Grimm all day long. All those who attend will receive an authentic aluminum pole so you can celebrate at home for years to come.
Donnie will be present to partake in the "Feats of Strength". There's no need for anyone else to attempt to win, there's no one stronger than Donnie on Festivus.
As for the "Airing of Grievances", there's also no need. Donnie is perfect.
However, those of you who wish to do so may send a contribution to dahntahndon.blogspot.com to help support the Human Fund: Money for People.
We thank you for your support and...
HAPPY FESTIVUS!
The holiday celebration will be held at Brothers Grimm all day long. All those who attend will receive an authentic aluminum pole so you can celebrate at home for years to come.
Donnie will be present to partake in the "Feats of Strength". There's no need for anyone else to attempt to win, there's no one stronger than Donnie on Festivus.
As for the "Airing of Grievances", there's also no need. Donnie is perfect.
However, those of you who wish to do so may send a contribution to dahntahndon.blogspot.com to help support the Human Fund: Money for People.
We thank you for your support and...
HAPPY FESTIVUS!
LIGHTNING vs PENGUINS
The Ex-Pens of Tampa will face-off against the black-and-gold tonight at 7:30 at the Igloo.
Good news for the Pens: the only thing worse than the Bolts right now is the U.S. job market. The Lightning have not won since December 11 and have won just one game in their last 10 contests.
Other than MyCousinVinny and St.LoueyLouey (both have 12G and 15A) no other TB player has more than 20 points. As far as former Guins who will play tonight, Rex has 18 points (7G 11A) Bugsy has 13 points (7G 6A) and Hall has 4 points (3G 1A).
If history repeats itself, the Pens should have the upper hand in tonight's match-up. The Guins took three of four games against T.B. last season outscoring them 10-6. However, the Pens have yet to win both games when they play on back-to-back nights (they're 4-4).
Hal TheThrill Gill will ba back in the lineup for Mikey T tonight after being out of the lineup since December 7 with another undisclosed Pens injury. The rumors through the tree also told Donnie that Ryan Whitney is to return to NHL action tonight. He has yet to play this season but he is not listed in Mikey T's lineup...yet.
Donnie thinks Sid will continue his scoring after breaking his 9-game slump last night. Look for him to be extra-energized against the team that cut his season short last year and against his former linemates Rex and Bugsy. Check back after the game to see if Donnie knows what he's talking about.
Mikey T’s Lineup:
FORWARDS:
Dupuis-Crosby-Satan
Fedotenko-Malkin-Sykora
Talbot-Staal-Cooke
Wallace-Talbot-Godard
DEFENSE:
Orpik-Letang
Suderi-Goligoski
Boucher-Gill
GOAL:
Sabourin
PENS 4 - SABRES 3 OT
In an atempt to kill off all of their fans through mass coronaries by season's end, the Kardiac Kids were at it again last night.
After falling behind 2-0 early, the Guins mounted a stellar comeback to steal the game from Buffalo on a controversial call in overtime.
Though the Pens may have had some help from the Toronto war room, the Kids looked worlds better than their piss-poor performance against the Leafs on Saturday.
FIRST PERIOD
Not much action went down in the first.
A minute in, one of Buff's fag boys scored on a long-range slapper.
That was it.
FIRST INTERMISSION: PENS 0 - SABRES 1
SECOND PERIOD
The second opened with another Sabres goal. IR threw a turnover pass right on the tape of a trash bag who had a break away from the blueline. Can't blame Flower for that.
At 6:18 Dupree scored his seventh of the year and brought the Guins within one.
Six minutes later GoGo tied the game with a GoGo Gadget slapshot from the point.
Another Sabre fag boy got lonely and decided he needed a hug from Godard. Godard was sent to the box for being to much of a man and Buff went on the power play.
Buffalo rounded out the second period scoring scoring on the PP made possible by another Penguin turnover.
SECOND INTERMISSION: PENS 2 - SABRES 3
THIRD PERIOD
Another pretty boring period. Both teams had some decent scoring chances but nothing doing.
Finally, just over half way through the final frame GoGo found twine on the PP for his second of the game and sixth of the year.
We're going to overtime.
THIRD INTERMISSION: PENS 3 - SABRES 3
OVERTIME
It didn't take long: just :43 seconds into sudden death Sid tip a Geno slapshot past Miller for a GuinWin.
Not so fast though, stripes had to take a second look to see if Sid's stick was below the crossbar. Of course it was.
GuinWin.
FINAL: PENS 4 - SABRES 3
Flower looked much better last night compared to Saturday's game agains Toronto stopping 33 of 35 shots. And Geno added to his league leading 55 points by adding three assists. Sid finally snapped his 9-game scoreless streak with his game winner and will hopefully start finding the net.
After falling behind 2-0 early, the Guins mounted a stellar comeback to steal the game from Buffalo on a controversial call in overtime.
Though the Pens may have had some help from the Toronto war room, the Kids looked worlds better than their piss-poor performance against the Leafs on Saturday.
FIRST PERIOD
Not much action went down in the first.
A minute in, one of Buff's fag boys scored on a long-range slapper.
That was it.
FIRST INTERMISSION: PENS 0 - SABRES 1
SECOND PERIOD
The second opened with another Sabres goal. IR threw a turnover pass right on the tape of a trash bag who had a break away from the blueline. Can't blame Flower for that.
At 6:18 Dupree scored his seventh of the year and brought the Guins within one.
Six minutes later GoGo tied the game with a GoGo Gadget slapshot from the point.
Another Sabre fag boy got lonely and decided he needed a hug from Godard. Godard was sent to the box for being to much of a man and Buff went on the power play.
Buffalo rounded out the second period scoring scoring on the PP made possible by another Penguin turnover.
SECOND INTERMISSION: PENS 2 - SABRES 3
THIRD PERIOD
Another pretty boring period. Both teams had some decent scoring chances but nothing doing.
Finally, just over half way through the final frame GoGo found twine on the PP for his second of the game and sixth of the year.
We're going to overtime.
THIRD INTERMISSION: PENS 3 - SABRES 3
OVERTIME
It didn't take long: just :43 seconds into sudden death Sid tip a Geno slapshot past Miller for a GuinWin.
Not so fast though, stripes had to take a second look to see if Sid's stick was below the crossbar. Of course it was.
GuinWin.
FINAL: PENS 4 - SABRES 3
Flower looked much better last night compared to Saturday's game agains Toronto stopping 33 of 35 shots. And Geno added to his league leading 55 points by adding three assists. Sid finally snapped his 9-game scoreless streak with his game winner and will hopefully start finding the net.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
The Music City Bandwagon
STEES vs Tits
1 PM L.P. Field
1 PM L.P. Field
Ok so after a huge week for the Stees last week, the boys find themselves able to take over the number one spot in the AFC. Homefield throughout the playoffs would be huge, even though we all know that we can play AND win anywhere.
The Titans bandwagon has grown ridiculously this season. There is nothing more annoying than loud mouth fairweather fans and thats what the Stees will encounter in Nashville this weekend. The Titans are a team who has found ways to win. Kerry Collins is very Tommy Maddox like from the 02-03 season, when the Titans actually knocked the Stees out of the playoffs due to a Joe Nedney Oscar winning performance.
Donny's Digs on the Titans
-The Titans offense if fueled by a powerful running game. Chris Johnson is nasty. Fast, annoying, and the spokesperson for homo-sexual african americans. He has had success against most teams, but he has never tried to have his throat ripped out by James Harrison either. Lendel White is a big powerful runner, but after his first handoff when the Stees knock him in the mouth, he will become frustrated and Jeff Fisher will take him out of the game. White will then proceed to have a hissy fit in the locker room. The Stees MUST stop their running game. The absolute biggest key to the game.
- The Titans D Has been solid all year. There is some good news for Big Ben, Fat Albert Haynesworth and Kyle Vandensuck are not playing this week. Had they been, Big Ben may have been in better shape after his Motorcycle accident. Hopefully he will have more time in the pocket and can pick apart their secondary. Huge break for the Stees in this crucial game.
-Kerry Collins has been in the league forever. He is smart. Thats about all he has going for him. With the Stees putting a stop to the run game, Collins will have nothing.
Why the Stees are great.
-The Stees need 9 more sacks in the next 2 games to break the franchise record of 55. I think we can have that by the second quarter on Sunday.
-Big Ben particpated in the DVE Christmas Show, singing Neutered Balls with Ralph the Cat. Awesome. ATTENTION The DVE Christmas show link has rare footage of DONNY himself singing all sorts of Christmas Classics. CHECK IT OUT!!
-Home Field for the AFC Championship game would be awesome. No matter what the players are saying, this is a game they want to win. Look for the Defense to be extremely fired up.
- Aaron Smith is coming off of Defensive player of the week honors. Look for him to cause some white on white beatdowns at the expense of Collins
-We will hear Nashville constantly be referred to as Music City. I think one listen to Donny live at Nicks Fat City will change some minds. Donny > All country
Go Stees
MAPLE LEAFS vs. PENGUINS
The Guins welcome the Maple Leafs to Mellon Arena tonight for a 7 o'clock showdown. The Pens are coming off of a huge win Thursday night in Atlanta and the Leafs are on game two of a three game road trip.
The last time the two teams met the Guins dominated with the help of the Pittsburgh Threesome. Flower stopped 26 of 27 shots, Sid had a goal and three assists and Geno had 4 assists.
Mikey T will need more of the same from his team tonight. Flower looked good in his return Thursday and will need to continue to play well against the NHL's fifth highest-shooting team. Sid and Geno should look to capitalize against a sketchy goalie tandem of CuJo and Toskala who gave up eight goals in their last game to Boston.
Also, look for an energized performance from MadMax. Not only will he return to the lineup tonight after missing the Guins' last two games but he will do so with a new 2-year contract extension under his belt.
Have your baby blue ready tonight as well. The black-and-gold will be blue-and-gold tonight as they will dawn their third jerseys yet again.
Mikey T's Lineup:
FORWARDS:
Taffe-Crosby-Satan
Fedotenko-Malkin-Sykora
Wallace-Staal-Cooke
Stone-Talbot-Godard
DEFENSE:
Orpik-Scuderi
Eaton-Letang
Goligoski-Boucher
GOAL:
Fluery
Donnie will give you a full game recap following a Pens' win.
GO BUCCOS!
WILSON WANTS BUCCOS TO COMPETE FOR FIRST TIME IN 17 YEARS
The Post-Gazette reported on Friday the Jumpin Jack is not happy with Buccos' management.
Jack wishes to honor his contract and play through this upcoming season with the club regardless of Neal Huntington trying to send him to LA and Detroit. Those talks appear to have cooled and hopefully Jack will be in black-and-gold come opening day.
All Jumpin Jack asks is that the Buccos put some of their third-highest profit returns from 2008 to use and sign a player or two that has actually played in the majors...and isn't named LaRoche.
In a study made up for this story, 99% of Pittsburghers sided with Wilson. The 1% opposed were Adam and Andy's parents.
LANNY'S BEEN REPLACED
The Pirates chose Tim Neverett to attempt to replace Lanny Fratare as one of team's play-by-play men. Neverett comes form Colorado where he did play-by-play for the Rockies. Hey, at least he's used to watching terrible baseball.
The Post-Gazette reported on Friday the Jumpin Jack is not happy with Buccos' management.Jack wishes to honor his contract and play through this upcoming season with the club regardless of Neal Huntington trying to send him to LA and Detroit. Those talks appear to have cooled and hopefully Jack will be in black-and-gold come opening day.
All Jumpin Jack asks is that the Buccos put some of their third-highest profit returns from 2008 to use and sign a player or two that has actually played in the majors...and isn't named LaRoche.
In a study made up for this story, 99% of Pittsburghers sided with Wilson. The 1% opposed were Adam and Andy's parents.
LANNY'S BEEN REPLACED
The Pirates chose Tim Neverett to attempt to replace Lanny Fratare as one of team's play-by-play men. Neverett comes form Colorado where he did play-by-play for the Rockies. Hey, at least he's used to watching terrible baseball.
PENGUINS 6 - TRASHERS 3
The Guins welcomed Flower back to the line-up in style Thursday night. MAF was stellar in his return, stopping 28 of 31 shots including some outstanding saves proving his leg is back to 100%.
FIRST PERIOD
The Pens struck early when CookieMonster sniped his fourth goal of the year just five minutes into the contest.
Geno put the Guins up 2-0 four minutes later on a tip in.
The Trashers finally answered with 40 seconds left in the first. Candy and Sid didn't like that though so they went Tango and Cash style and kicked some ATL ass.
FIRST INTERMISSION: PENS 2 - ATL 1
SECOND PERIOD
The second started similar to the first. Staalzy put the Pens up by two just 3:30 in when he tipped Geno's slapper in on the PP.
Just two and a half minutes later Satan converted on another Pens power play. Satan took a pass in the slot and went Gordon Bombay style and deked around Pavelek.
Some Trasher scored a few minutes later to make it 4-2.
Waterboy finished up the second period scoring with another of his patented slappers from the point.
SECOND INTERMISSION: PENS 5 - ATL 2
THIRD PERIOD
An old friend got some face time in the third. Army picked-off an outlet pass with just over five minutes left in the game and sniped his seventh goal of the season over Flower's right shoulder. Army looked miserable in his post-game interview but it will be good to hopefully seem him back in the Burgh next season. Let's hope so, A&L Motors' commercials haven't been the same since.
Geno rounded out the game with an empty-netter to record his second goal of the game to go along with his two assists.
FINAL: PENS 6 - ATL 3
FIRST PERIOD
The Pens struck early when CookieMonster sniped his fourth goal of the year just five minutes into the contest.
Geno put the Guins up 2-0 four minutes later on a tip in.
The Trashers finally answered with 40 seconds left in the first. Candy and Sid didn't like that though so they went Tango and Cash style and kicked some ATL ass.
FIRST INTERMISSION: PENS 2 - ATL 1
SECOND PERIOD
The second started similar to the first. Staalzy put the Pens up by two just 3:30 in when he tipped Geno's slapper in on the PP.
Just two and a half minutes later Satan converted on another Pens power play. Satan took a pass in the slot and went Gordon Bombay style and deked around Pavelek.
Some Trasher scored a few minutes later to make it 4-2.
Waterboy finished up the second period scoring with another of his patented slappers from the point.
SECOND INTERMISSION: PENS 5 - ATL 2
THIRD PERIOD
An old friend got some face time in the third. Army picked-off an outlet pass with just over five minutes left in the game and sniped his seventh goal of the season over Flower's right shoulder. Army looked miserable in his post-game interview but it will be good to hopefully seem him back in the Burgh next season. Let's hope so, A&L Motors' commercials haven't been the same since.
Geno rounded out the game with an empty-netter to record his second goal of the game to go along with his two assists.
FINAL: PENS 6 - ATL 3
Thursday, December 18, 2008
PENGUINS vs. THRASHERS
The Guins are in Hotlanta tonight to meet some old friends. Puck drops at 7.
The biggest story of tonight's match-up: the Flower makes his return between the pipes for Mikey T after missing a few weeks with a leg injury. Hopefully Flower's return will have the Pens looking more like a hockey team instead of the brain-dead retards they resembled last Saturday against the Philly Trashbags. The Guins could use a decent game in net after Sabu has surrendered three goals or more in his last four starts (all losses).
Another new face in tonight's lineup will be WBS forward Ryan Stone who has been called-up along side Jeff Taffe and Tim Wallace to fill in for the injured MadMax, TKO and Ziggy. Confirming Mikey T's hatred for Nanana.
The Guins will face off against former teammates Colby Armstrong and Erik Christensen for the second time this year. ATL lost the first meeting 3-2 at home.
Keep your eye on Army as he is coming of a two-goal game Tuesday night against Ottawa and is now wearing the "A" for the Thrashers. Hopefully Sid and the kids will impress in front of their former mates.
The black-and-gold will also need to step it up against ATLs bignames scorers like Ilya
Kovalchuk who always seem to get under the Pens' skin. He'll enter the game with 31 points (17 G, 24A) in 24 games against the Pens. Not bad for a D-bag.
Check back with Donnie after the game for a full recap.
Mikey T's Lineup:
FORWARDS:
Dupuis-Crosby-Satan
Fedatenko-Malkin-Sykora
Wallace-Staal-Cooke
Stone-Taffe-Godard
DEFENSE:
Orpik-Scuderi
Letang-Eaton
Boucher-Goligowski
GOAL:
Fluery
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Power Rankings
The boys at Pesonen and the Pens put out a survey that asks to rank the current Pens forwards. Take the survey, leave a rant, Go Pens.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
STEES vs Dirty Birds
4:15 M & T Bank Stadium
Ray Lewis has killed people. Michael Vick put a few pit bulls against one another and will be hated forever. As he should be. But, c’mon people Ray Lewis has killed PEOPLE, and we as Pittsburghers have to put up with his murderous ways twice a year, plus our poor ears have to hear the media be all on his balls. Disgusting. I almost wish Lewis would have attempted to kill a German Sheppard, so more people would hate him.
Ok. So SI.com has us as the number one game of the week. This is two huge media weeks in a row for the Stees. Dallas has been self destructing ever since Deshea Townsend brought the house down last week. TO thinks that Homo and Witten have “secret meetings” to plot ways not to include TO. Wow. Secret meetings. That must be it. Actually ESPN.com just reported on an altercation between TO and Witten at practice. TO must be jealous that JWitt played football at UT and not UTC…. Ok enough on those fools. Back to this week…
We need to establish a run game this week. Hands down. Willie has come right out and said that they Stees need to run the ball more. If the running game gets going early and Ben has just a descent day, we will win. No doubt. The Stees have not won in Baltimore since the 2002 season. Also with a win, a playoff spot will be clinched and we will be 8-1 against AFC opponents this year. Solid. We all know the big nasty will come to play. The secondary seems to be playing as good as possible and members of the 3-4 kill people on the field, where killing should be done.
Big individual Points of Interest for the Stees this week
-Hines only needs 76 yards for 10,000 yards in his career.
-Reed needs 15 more points to pass up Roy Gerela on the teams all time scoring list. Reed is currently sitting at 717. That’s a match up I wanna see. Gerelas Gorillas vs Jeff Reed’s STD ridden hoes.
- Half a sack is all Harrison needs for the teams single season sack record.
Who to Hate on the Ravens
Obviously Ray Lewis. No explanation needed.
Joe Flacco. He is a clown. He will be throwing up prayers Derrick Mason and Mark Clayton. Oh yeah that reminds me. Remember when Todd Heap used to be good?
Ed Reed. I promise you, we will all be sick of hearing Reed compared to Troy.
McClain and McGahee will try to run the ball on us. Won’t happen
Also, it’s a pretty big game in Baltimore. So I’m pretty sure we will see plenty of Michael Phelps, who yes, is awesome. But his deuschbag style and love for the Ravens is enough to make one yomit. I bet he's wearing a crooked Lacoste hat. Any takers?
Donnie Iris > Michael Phelps
Go Stees
A day in Filthadelphia...
As I write this I have to fight off the urge to puke in my mouth as the Penguins are down to 5-1 after the 2nd period. I'm not going to do any period by period recap of this garbage so I'll just state some observations and thoughts.....
-Philly is the worst sports city in the history of the world. Their fans are just pure assholes. How there can be so many asses in one place amazes me. Every time Crosby or Malkin touch the puck they boo. Wow, real classy. You have the privledge of watching the two best in the league.....jealousy must suck for you. They also have Crosby sucks chants. OK, that makes a lot of sense.....yea, OK he sucks you're right.....morons.
-Sabourin blows. After playing some solid hockey for a while, Sabu's true colors have come out. He constantly is out of position and is caught out of the net too far all the time. The first goal was a horrible wrap around that Letang had to try to play goalie again on but couldn't do it. On another, he just stares at Mike Richards as he puts a weak wrister by from out between the two circles and no one in front of him.
-Some players on this team amaze me. Taffe, Eaton, Scuderi, Boucher......all on my shit list. Laffey Taffey had a pass gift wrapped to him on the door step and didn't even get a piece....he just missed it......hahaha....wow. He must of been blinded by more of his hair falling out....seriously he is better than Janne???? come on.....
-Connor James was called up....now we have Connor, Laffey, and William Wallace.......but no Janne. Mikey T, I hate you, you sir are trash.....speaking of trash..........
-Scott Hartnell, who is the biggest piece of garbage to ever walk into the classy city of Filthadelphia, scored a goal making me run for the toilet to unleash a projectile yomit. Eaton was standing there day dreaming of better days relaxing with 44 broken bones and forgot he was supposed to be playing defense....letting that dirty diaper score a goal
-The Pens this year are pussies and it needs to be addressed. Watching them play in Philly today is sad to watch as we look as if we are scared every time we go to the boards. Think about it. We have no tough guys outside of Godard and Free Candy. The only other one that hits is Cookie, but he is about 5'3" and gets his ass beat if he throws down. I don't know if we need to make a trade or bring up Biznasty again but we need someone who isn't afraid to mix it up and can play hockey like a normal person unlike GodAwful. Last year we had Gary Roberts, Jarko, Malone, and BGL. Godard and Cookie are not even close to matching that crew in toughness, not that Godard hasn't done well throwing down....which he has.
My rant is done.....I hate Scuderi
Oh god......the world has just shaken and godard just scored a goal.....
6-3 Cryers is the Final......bad game on many levels....The shining star of the day was Godard. Getting his first goal and the embarrassing Hartnell makes him ok in my book. Hartnell didn't even want to fight (for obvious reasons....he is a puss) but Godard didn't give him a choice. I think Godard hates Hartnell just as much as I do, even after he had him down he continued to punch until the 2 refs had to pull him off......nice one
-Philly is the worst sports city in the history of the world. Their fans are just pure assholes. How there can be so many asses in one place amazes me. Every time Crosby or Malkin touch the puck they boo. Wow, real classy. You have the privledge of watching the two best in the league.....jealousy must suck for you. They also have Crosby sucks chants. OK, that makes a lot of sense.....yea, OK he sucks you're right.....morons.
-Sabourin blows. After playing some solid hockey for a while, Sabu's true colors have come out. He constantly is out of position and is caught out of the net too far all the time. The first goal was a horrible wrap around that Letang had to try to play goalie again on but couldn't do it. On another, he just stares at Mike Richards as he puts a weak wrister by from out between the two circles and no one in front of him.
-Some players on this team amaze me. Taffe, Eaton, Scuderi, Boucher......all on my shit list. Laffey Taffey had a pass gift wrapped to him on the door step and didn't even get a piece....he just missed it......hahaha....wow. He must of been blinded by more of his hair falling out....seriously he is better than Janne???? come on.....
-Connor James was called up....now we have Connor, Laffey, and William Wallace.......but no Janne. Mikey T, I hate you, you sir are trash.....speaking of trash..........
-Scott Hartnell, who is the biggest piece of garbage to ever walk into the classy city of Filthadelphia, scored a goal making me run for the toilet to unleash a projectile yomit. Eaton was standing there day dreaming of better days relaxing with 44 broken bones and forgot he was supposed to be playing defense....letting that dirty diaper score a goal
-The Pens this year are pussies and it needs to be addressed. Watching them play in Philly today is sad to watch as we look as if we are scared every time we go to the boards. Think about it. We have no tough guys outside of Godard and Free Candy. The only other one that hits is Cookie, but he is about 5'3" and gets his ass beat if he throws down. I don't know if we need to make a trade or bring up Biznasty again but we need someone who isn't afraid to mix it up and can play hockey like a normal person unlike GodAwful. Last year we had Gary Roberts, Jarko, Malone, and BGL. Godard and Cookie are not even close to matching that crew in toughness, not that Godard hasn't done well throwing down....which he has.
My rant is done.....I hate Scuderi
Oh god......the world has just shaken and godard just scored a goal.....
6-3 Cryers is the Final......bad game on many levels....The shining star of the day was Godard. Getting his first goal and the embarrassing Hartnell makes him ok in my book. Hartnell didn't even want to fight (for obvious reasons....he is a puss) but Godard didn't give him a choice. I think Godard hates Hartnell just as much as I do, even after he had him down he continued to punch until the 2 refs had to pull him off......nice one
Friday, December 12, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
PENS 9 - ISLES 2
The Guins were looking to rebound from a three-game losing streak on Thursday night. Sid and the gang welcomed the Losers from the Island just one night after Ed Hochuli made his officiating debut in the NHL and helped the Devils to a 4-1 win.
The Waterboy was back in the Pens' lineup so the Rev. was sent packing back to WBS. Not to worry, Mikey T still had three WBSers to randomly toggle through his lines.
FIRST PERIOD
The first opened with JoeyMac looking easier than Tara Reid on dollar drink night.
Just over six minutes into regulation Satan found Pastel (he's soft) from across the ice. Just inside the blueline Pastel decided to unleash a snipe that he only decides to use once every 6.5 games. JoeyMac didn't bother to stop it.
Six minutes later the Guins found themselves on the right side of a 5-on-3. Satan didn't like the way 5-on-3s went against New Jersey so he decided to score. JoeyMac didn't bother to stop it.
With 3:30 left in period 1 a trashbag scored.
Don't worry, ten seconds later Sicky answered with a 45-foot one-timer from Geno. JoeyMac didn't bother to stop it.
First period scoring was rounded out by the Waterboy who scored his first goal as a Penguin with a snapper from the point. JoeyMac didn't bother to stop it.
The Guins finished the first 20 minutes with 19 shots on goal.
FIRST INTERMISSION: PENS 4 - ISLES 1
SECOND PERIOD
More of the same. The second period opened with Yann Danis (yeah, that's his name) looking easier than Lindsay Lohan on dollar drink night.
Geno got things going early when he stuffed a GoGo rebound into a wide open cage two minutes in.
Sicky notched his second of the night on the PP eight minutes into the second. Similar to his first goal, Sicky unloaded a one-timer that trickled through the legs of Danis.
With 4:18 left it happened. 43 two-goal games in the making, Sicky finally turned a trick. On another power play Sid found the magician alone in the slot who redirected into the mesh.
The second was brought to a close with Pastel scoring his second of the game and recording his first ever two-goal game.
SECOND INTERMISSION: PENS 8 - ISLES 1
THIRD PERIOD
The third looked like an actual period of hockey.
Spicy Curry looked exceptional in net until Andy Sutton scored his first goal since coming out.
With three minutes left in the game Cookie Monster enterd the zone on a 2-on-1 and said to Danis, "It's you, me and Dupree," to which Danis replied, "shit."
Cookie passed to Pastel who beat Danis with a backhander to score his third goal of the game on his 63rd scoring opportunity. Pastel doubled his season goal total in one game.
The game ended with Pens fans chanting, "We want 10," to no avail.
FINAL: PENS 9 - ISLES 2
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Bummer vs Buffalo: Pens 3 - Sabres 4
Same old story for the Guins...these guys hate to play with a lead and proved it on Monday night. Watching the Pens slowly forget how to play hockey on Versus was harding than watching a blind kid geting pistol whipped.
The kids cam out of the blocks strong and were on the board before the halfway mark of the opening period. Geno carried the puck down the right-side boards before making Sabre Toni Lydman look like Arnie Grape with a nasty between the legs toe-drag and then found Tank on the back door. Tank just had to watch his face get red as the puck redirected off his stick behind Miller.
Less than two minutes later Derek Roy capitalized off a rare Orpik turnover and beat Sabu farside along the ice.
The Euro Trash line put the Guins back on top before the end of the first period. Sicky started the play by circling behind the net before finding Geno on the left side. Geno threw a one-touch pass across the slot to Tank who just had to watch his face get red as the puck redirected of his stick behind Miller. It was Tank's first 2-goal game wearing bland and gold.
First Intermission: Pens 2 - Sabres 1
The second period picked up where the first left off. Just 90 seconds into period 2, Sid found LeGame in the high slot for a one-time goal on the powerplay. It was LeGame's first of the year.
The Guins then failed to convert on a 5-on-3 that would prove fatal.
The second period was rounded out by two trash goals by the Sabres in which Sabu could not locate the puck laying in his crease. First, Ales Kotalik poked a rebound home from 6 inches and then Daniel Paille flipped the puck over a seizuring Sabu.
Second Intermission: Pens 3 - Sabres 3
Not much action in the third besides Thomas Vanek scoring the game-winner. The Guins' defense forgot what to do when the puck is in their zone and Vanek just had to tap his league-leading 20th goal into a wide open net.
The Pens had a chance to counter with another 5-on-3 but could not find twine. Mikey T put his hero line out to end the game and pulled his goalie but the kids didn't put the puck in the net until after the final buzzer sounded.
Don't fret the loss Guins fans, it's only the second time this year that the Black and Gold have dropped two regulation games in a row. Look for them to rebound on Wednesday and Thursday.
The kids cam out of the blocks strong and were on the board before the halfway mark of the opening period. Geno carried the puck down the right-side boards before making Sabre Toni Lydman look like Arnie Grape with a nasty between the legs toe-drag and then found Tank on the back door. Tank just had to watch his face get red as the puck redirected off his stick behind Miller.
Less than two minutes later Derek Roy capitalized off a rare Orpik turnover and beat Sabu farside along the ice.
The Euro Trash line put the Guins back on top before the end of the first period. Sicky started the play by circling behind the net before finding Geno on the left side. Geno threw a one-touch pass across the slot to Tank who just had to watch his face get red as the puck redirected of his stick behind Miller. It was Tank's first 2-goal game wearing bland and gold.
First Intermission: Pens 2 - Sabres 1
The second period picked up where the first left off. Just 90 seconds into period 2, Sid found LeGame in the high slot for a one-time goal on the powerplay. It was LeGame's first of the year.
The Guins then failed to convert on a 5-on-3 that would prove fatal.
The second period was rounded out by two trash goals by the Sabres in which Sabu could not locate the puck laying in his crease. First, Ales Kotalik poked a rebound home from 6 inches and then Daniel Paille flipped the puck over a seizuring Sabu.
Second Intermission: Pens 3 - Sabres 3
Not much action in the third besides Thomas Vanek scoring the game-winner. The Guins' defense forgot what to do when the puck is in their zone and Vanek just had to tap his league-leading 20th goal into a wide open net.
The Pens had a chance to counter with another 5-on-3 but could not find twine. Mikey T put his hero line out to end the game and pulled his goalie but the kids didn't put the puck in the net until after the final buzzer sounded.
Don't fret the loss Guins fans, it's only the second time this year that the Black and Gold have dropped two regulation games in a row. Look for them to rebound on Wednesday and Thursday.
Monday, December 8, 2008
PENS vs Sabres Pre Game
Alright lets see..
The Guins are coming off a tough loss to the Sens. The Pens are 3-1 when playing on VS, only loss coming against the Sens overseas, so that shouldn't even count. All-star vote leading forward Sidney Crosby will be doing his best to take the game over, and doing so with a variety of line mates I'm sure.
Donnie's keys to the game...
- Hopefully the Pens have some established lines ready to go for this game. Constant line rotations will continue to take away from four lines with chemistry. Come on Therien
- The Sabres are 3-7 in their last ten. Miller is 1-3-0 with a 4.20 goals-against average in his last four games against Pittsburgh. Weak. We need to light him up tonight.
- Donnie loves it when guys their chance to prove themselves. Tonight 3 players from WBS will have their chance. Janne Pesonen and Chris Minard will continue their stint with the big boys, only this time having a chance for some actual practice. Ben Lovejoy will also get the nod on D. I'm pumped about seeing what this kid can do as well. PATP looks at Lovejoy
- We kinda have a thing for Janne Pesonen, but we'll let PATP handle that.. nananana
- It's almost been a year...
Remember that one Sabres fans?? We do.
Go Pens.
BOWL SELECTIONS
Penn State will end an impressive 11-1 season with a BCS berth to the Rose Bowl against #5 USC in Pasedena
Pitt will also end it's 9-3 season with an impressive bowl bid. The Panthers will head down to El Paso on New Year's Eve for the "Worthless Loser Bowl" presented by HOMO.
Pitt will also end it's 9-3 season with an impressive bowl bid. The Panthers will head down to El Paso on New Year's Eve for the "Worthless Loser Bowl" presented by HOMO.
STEEEES
STEES 20
Cowgirls 13
Huge come from behind win yesterday. The Defense played simply outstanding...
Merx's Comments
Defense wins championships, but offenses are nice to have. Despite the big win I am sick of watching frustrating games with no O. Next week the Raven D is going to kill Ben and the boys if we don't get our shit together. Props to the D, causing 9 turnovers in the past 2 games is unheard of. In the next two weeks we will face teams with great defenses and offenses that will do nothing against us. I think these games will serve as great preparation for the playoffs as long as we can stay healthy.
----Also-----Loved to watch Homo cry because he was cold and Jessica was on the rag this week and T.O. cry because he and his team suck. It was also funny to watch Pacman get raped like the jailbird he is...
Cowgirls 13
Huge come from behind win yesterday. The Defense played simply outstanding...Donny's Takeways
-The Cowgirls we're pointing the finger at everyone.. TO blamed Homo, "I was 1-on-1, and in that situation they were 12-13 yards off me. So you know, you expect things to happen, but (Romo) made the assessment." Everyone saw that one coming.
Late in the game it looked like Homo was trying to blame his center. C'mon the center. Homo was obviously trying to start the blame game early before TO had a chance too. What a bunch of immature fools who can't win when they need to.. Awesome.
Ben didn't have the best game, but still connected it counted. Huge plays to Santonio and Heath late in the game.
James Harrison tied the sack record yesterday, breaking Mike Merriweather's 15 sacks set in 84. There is still plenty of time for Harrison to get atleast 10 more... You know he can do it. Nasty.
Merx's Comments
Defense wins championships, but offenses are nice to have. Despite the big win I am sick of watching frustrating games with no O. Next week the Raven D is going to kill Ben and the boys if we don't get our shit together. Props to the D, causing 9 turnovers in the past 2 games is unheard of. In the next two weeks we will face teams with great defenses and offenses that will do nothing against us. I think these games will serve as great preparation for the playoffs as long as we can stay healthy.
----Also-----Loved to watch Homo cry because he was cold and Jessica was on the rag this week and T.O. cry because he and his team suck. It was also funny to watch Pacman get raped like the jailbird he is...
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Pens 2 Spezza 3
The Pens tried hard for yet another late game comeback but fell short. Jordan Staal made the game 1-2 but shortly after Spezza completed the HT to make it 3-1. A short handed goal about halfway through the 3rd by Geno gave the Pens new life, but it wasn't enough.STEES tomorrow. C'mon yinz guyz we need a big win in da Burgh tomorrow...
Stees vs. Cowboys- Dynasties Revisted
Tomorrow(Dec. 7)--4:15
Heinz Field
-Two of the NFL's most successful teams of all-time bring a combined 10 super bowls into Heinz Field tomorrow in what is sure to be the most anticipated game of the weekend. Dallas's offense is talented with Romo and T.O back together, but they are also very, very gay.
-The Stees Defense is just sick. We saw what happened last week to the only team that may be gayer than the Cowboys--The Patriots. The Stees Defense dominated and harassed Matt Queen of the Cassel causing 5 turnovers. I expect more of the same tomorrow, especially if Marion Barber doesn't go.
-Pac Man Jones is expected to be released from his home in prison to make a brief appearance on the North Shore tomorrow. I'm sure right after the game he'll go stab someone in Hi-tops and wake up in the Allegheny County Jail.
Heinz Field
-Two of the NFL's most successful teams of all-time bring a combined 10 super bowls into Heinz Field tomorrow in what is sure to be the most anticipated game of the weekend. Dallas's offense is talented with Romo and T.O back together, but they are also very, very gay.
-The Stees Defense is just sick. We saw what happened last week to the only team that may be gayer than the Cowboys--The Patriots. The Stees Defense dominated and harassed Matt Queen of the Cassel causing 5 turnovers. I expect more of the same tomorrow, especially if Marion Barber doesn't go.
-Pac Man Jones is expected to be released from his home in prison to make a brief appearance on the North Shore tomorrow. I'm sure right after the game he'll go stab someone in Hi-tops and wake up in the Allegheny County Jail.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Pens vs Sens Preview
Game Time 2 PM. Scotia Bank Place
We're pretty sure we know who laid that hit on Danny Boy...
The 2 PM match up will be the first time the Pens see the senators in North America this season. Pretty much everything sucks about the Senators. This will be the Pens 3rd game in 4 days but they should be fine. Now let's see what we like to think Donnie would call his keys to the game...
The Good
The top lines have been pretty sick as of late. Last game Sid set up more guys than Chuck Woolery.
D-Man Rob Scuderi lead the team with 23 minutes of ice time. The Pens notched 2 power play goals and killed 5 of the 6 Carolina penalties. Some other good news is that Evgeni Malkin has finally bought a house in Pittsburgh. "Now, sure it's my home. "
The Bad
This will be the first game with us knowing that Candybars will be out indefinitely. He was actually the first star against the Sens in the season opener. His hussle will be missed for this next month or so. But this does give Penguins Finnish prospect Janne Pesonen a real chance to finally show what he can do....
The Ugly
Everything about Daniel Alfredson is ugly. Especially the fact that he has 4 goals and 9 points in his last 8 games
We're pretty sure we know who laid that hit on Danny Boy...New Captain
ANNOUNCEMENT:
Big news in the pens world. They have announced they have a new captain and it is none other than Pittsburgh's own....................DONNIE IRIS!!
In other yinzer news...
-The Pens simply dominated the Hurricanes last night. 5-2. Sykie now has 38 multi goal games without a hat trick. PG with the recap
-Tyler "candybars" Kennedy is out 4-6 weeks for the Guins. Damn. Pesonen and the Pens looks at who could fill his shoes...
-Stees (abbreviation for Steelers coined by the GOAT) have the Hollywood Cowboys coming to town this weekend. It needs to be a huge win for the Stees. TO will probably do something to bring attention to himself. Hopefully Homo will have a terrible game due to the fact that he can't stop picturing Jessica and former Mrs. Simpson Nick Lachey getting it on...
Welcome to Dahntahn with Donnie
Yes it has been created. The best Pittsburgh blog ever created(well not yet but soon). All things Pittsburgh will be included. From Donnie Iris to Primanti's and the Pens to the Stees and pierogies, this is the place
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